2024; The Year In Wore Out

Every year has certain recurring stories.  North Korea threatened US.  And we supposedly found Amelia Earhart’s plane again.  Supposedly.  Breaking news, the Republicans disapproved of something the Democratic President did!

GenX wore pajamas like it was a senior prank played on people who planned their day.

Yep.  Russia is still invading Ukraine, Israel is getting back at Hamas ‘a little more’ via the southern route through Gaza.

Kaley Cuoco wore a bikini!

Women’s nails went from coffin nails to stiletto nails. Who is setting these trends? 16th century ninjas?

Tipping culture peaked.  So please answer a question before you complete this section...

Boeing had a “door plug” that didn’t, a tire fell off (notice all this happened after Boeing moved to Chicago). It’s hilarious when a tuktuk falls apart on a third world dirt alley YouTube video... not so much when you see it was your flight.  Then they had an emergency slide fall off.  Well.  Guess we won't be needing that.

And it certainly didn’t help when its spacefaring Starliner eventually made it to the International Space Station... then had a layover.  At this writing their one week jaunt turned into SIX MONTHS.  So don’t complain about your commute.  Then a Boeing satellite imploded.  Their solution; mass layoffs. While former CEO Dave Calhoun earned almost $33million.

The Census Bureau released information that the most commonly used phrase this year was ‘the social media platform formerly known as Twitter’.

The stupidest phrase is when a phone recording says “...if this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911”.  Darn!  I went through all the trouble to look up your number and go through your elaborate phone tree to report my double dismemberment.

The Kansas City Chiefs won the Superb Owl® putting Taylor Swift’s Deep State plan to attack democracy into blah, blah, blah.  

A few years ago, we had never heard of bomb cyclones or atmospheric rivers. And now the West Coast is regularly being bombarded by them. But reactionaries say there is no evidence of climate change. Oil companies predicted climate change 50 years ago, but there is 'no evidence of climate change'.  Record highs around the world, but there is ‘no evidence of climate change’.  A dozen Florida home insurers have left the state, but there is 'no evidence of climate change'.  The Pope says climate change is a threat to mankind, but there is ‘no evidence of climate change’.  The Pentagon says climate change is a national security threat, but there is 'no evidence of climate change'...  

Kaley Cuoco wore a bikini again!

What a productive year for the GOP (as opposed to reproductive?) When asked about the loss of their rights, five dead baby incubators that bled out in hospital parking lots could not be reached for comment. Five, so far.

The GOP was given everything they asked for at the border.

Then killed the bill.

Then had their ‘star witness’ to persecute Hunter Biden turn out to be a Russian disinformation trough.  The final nail was when the agent, whose entire eyewitness account the GOP ‘impeachment’ of Biden depended upon, turned out to be a Russian disinformation operative.  You mean, the guy named ‘Alexander Smirnov?!  How could the GOP be expected to know that?

So if you ask who is working with the Russians...

Kate Middleton, gasp, touched up a photo!

This was the last year before we were swimming in robots, as is the secret plan of James Bond villain, Elon Musk.  The household robot will be cheaper than a car and only half as likely to kill someone. 

Speaking of killing... ladies and gentlemen... South Dakota governor, Kristi Noem!

The “Greatest President in History®” fell asleep in court.  Who among US can’t say the same thing has happened.  Especially when you are innocent. 

Trump shilled sneakers.  This from a man who cannot negotiate a shallow ramp.  Presented to a demographic that is scarce concerned with athletics.  Or bibles, from a man who... well, that’s a whole other article. Then hawked guitars to go with his sad song about having all of the charges dropped for attacking democracy, !@#$%^&*.

Imagine how much worse it would have been if Hillary had been elected president.

Oh.  By the way...

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. 

The year culminated in nothing less than the entire concept of democracy.  Of course, conservatives will tell you that America is not a democracy but a republic, like the Republic of Cuba.  Or the People’s Republic of China.  Or the Socialist Republic of Vietnam.  Or the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan.  Or the Islamic Republic of Iran.

They need a reminder that the word ‘republic’ just means we are not a monarchy.  Yet.  

After having the most productive administration in decades, President Biden said he would not run again.  That made Trump the oldest candidate to run for president. The GOP would like you to kindly forget their leading argument for the last three years. 

And Kaley Cuoco wore a bikini!

A leading ‘healthcare’ CEO was shot.  He may have survived the initial shooting but reflexively refused his own treatment.

A couple years ago the Supreme Court case of Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization overturned women’s rights.  This year a rapist felon was chosen over a law enforcing prosecutor.  Please turn your hymnals to Year 2006 and sing 'Dumbocracy’.

One candidate was a rapist and a felon, one made a living convicting rapists and felons.  There must be a message here somewhere. Trump supporters had to ask themselves if they could vote for someone who had 91 felony charges against him. 92, certainly not!  But 91...  And a million dead from Covid is a small price for “Republican Freedom!©”

Republicans have the White House, the Senate, the House of Representatives, the Supreme Court... but will still blame Democrats for... well, everything.

Ah, well.  That whole democracy thing was kinda cool.  But now the Maduro-type henchmen roam the streets targeting people who wear glasses and don’t drive pick-ups.

Excuse me.  Someone’s at the door...