2023; the Year in Review

It’s that time when I harken back to a simpler time.  Before American women were issued hijabs.  Before the ‘Escape and Evasion’ classes were taught in elementary.  Before Tasmanian tigers were resurrected and then recruited by the GOP- the only victims of them were their own constituents who blamed the deaths on ‘those goldurned antifa thingies’. 

As we start the year...

Hunter Biden did something wrong!  Somebody stole his laptop.  But... it’s his fault.  Somebody stole Biden’s daughter’s diary.  But it’s her fault.  

They have been ‘investigating’ these for 7 years, but it should all be wrapped up by October, surprise! 

Kevin McCarthy became Speaker of the House of Representatives.  Give or take 15 tallies.  The GOP just held it up out of reflex.  Classified documents were found in Biden’s old office ( what’s that, a cave? ) But these, well, Trump refused to declassify them with his mind.  

For the first time in three years the Doomsday Clock was set to 90 seconds.  At least we got to celebrate the 12th annual anniversary of the End Of The World from back in Dec 21, 2012.

Queen Elizabeth died. Long Live Queen Elizabeth. 
Bonny Prince Charlie becomes King Charles. 
But there was no kingdom for him to kingify.

The president that has ‘never done anything wrong’... his name escapes me right now... ended the year with NINETY-ONE felony counts against him, that’s ‘Felony’ with a capitol “F”.  I’m starting to wonder about this guy.

Some women wondered if they would be loved if they were a worm. Sorry, nope. Fashion designers told this generation you had to look like a young boy from the back. Not even women-shaped women. And turns out men spend a lot of time thinking about Ancient Rome...  Good thing sex was invented in the ‘60s. 

A family-values politician was outed as having a more interesting sex life than you!  Not that one.  No, not that one either.  Or that one...

Boebert committed a faux pas. Or three. Santos was drummed out. Don’t focus on Joe Biden’s accomplishments, fixate on that he is ollllld!

And Elon Musk, Elon Musk, Elon Musk. 

Hamas attacked Israel.  So Israel counter-attacked... Gaza?  Kinda like al Qaeda attacked America, so America attacked... Iraq.

And locally, the Lakewood City Council will swear in yet another newcomer to the area.  His platform was that he was more deserving than the Marine that was censored.  He owes a lot of help to his daddy-in-law... that was censored. 

And 2023 was the hottest year on record.  So far.